I am back from what was the shortest visit home. It was a totally different feeling this time. No explanations about courses and evaluations, no need to think about the dreaded C.G.P.A., no reason to stand at the balcony and look out at the horizon and wonder what lies in store for me.
I know what lies in store for me... at least for the next couple of years.
There have been times when I have had nothing to worry about. But they are the most unsettling times . The moment there is nothing to worry about, there is a fear of stagnating. The fear drives me to think of new things to do, new avenues to explore and get worried in the process. The vicious cycle continues...

Homeward Bound

Going home had never been this mundane. I have a ticket for a train at 1:30 in the morning. I have to reach a godforsaken station somewhere in the heartlands of Uttar Pradesh by bus and I am still not sure of the route I am supposed to take. All I know is that a car will drop me off at the bus stop and I have to take a bus to Agra. The route from there is yet to be discovered.
There was a time when going home was a big thing, when I packed things 4 days in advance. I can still recall the joy of going home in the middle of my first semester. I had finished packing my bag three clear days before my train left delhi station and I had to unpack my bag several times in the middle because I had packed off stuff which I actually didn't want to take!
Four years down the line, once the bag is packed I don't have to open it up and to remove stuff packed by mistake.
Lets hope the train doesn't take too much time to reach Asansol, the one I am boarding is supposedly one of those trains which run 12 hours behind schedule as a habit. God help me.

Too tired to crib!

This place is the one I use to crib when there is no other person to crib to... but sometimes you are so down and so tired that you can't even crib.. thats exactly whats happening to me right now.. another 45 minutes and I'll be working for 12 hrs straight with exactly 35 minutes break for lunch!
I can feel the angst deep down, but I am just too bloody tired to crib...
Is this the life I had bargained for?
I have to be up and running by the time the first rays kiss the tree tops and get back to my room only by 8 in the evening. With an average of 4 hrs a days of non-sleeping free time, I don't think its worth the pain...
But again, I'm tired.

Pizza I want!

Saturday evening in a public sector company is just as sweet as Friday in a software firm.
The next day being the one day when you know that the Alarm clock won't marshall the day for you. When you can take your own sweet time to move yourself from the bed to the bathroom. When you can walk slowly in the golden winter sunshine to the mess for a long leisurely breakfast accompanied by the newspaper with the all-so-familiar accidents, manhunts and deaths being reported with wartime efficiency.
What I mean to say is that everything remains the same, just that for one day, you are allowed to slow down and adjust your bearings before flying off for another six days of early mornings and stereotype evenings.
However, this post is about the evening before the beginning of this beautiful day.
In this backward land of Mathura which according to me hasn't moved much ahead since independence, we set out in search of Pizza at a remote Shopping mall called Highway Plaza which was about 10 Kms from the Township.
Highway Plaza does justice to its name on two counts, one, its bang on the Delhi-Agra highway and two, its exactly what the dictionary meaning ("Mercantile establishment consisting of a carefully landscaped complex of shops representing leading merchandisers; usually includes restaurants and a convenient parking area; a modern version of the traditional marketplace") reccommends a plaza to be. However, after the stint in Bangalore a Mall without babes and MacD's doesn't look or sound like a mall. Therefore it took me quite some time to actually come to terms with the idea of being in a mall on a saturday night and not being able to letch!
The pizza was mediocre, but a welcome change from the typical "dal-sabzi-roti" routine.
I am still thinking though.... a mall without babes...

Mathura Mediocrity...

In Mathura after stopovers at Baroda and Mumbai. The last time I updated a Blog, I was at Bangalore, sitting in from of a PC in the corner of a shared cubicle, typing whenever I am not coding. The scenario hasn't changed much, except for the fact that now I don't share a cubicle any more (I have my own :D) and am typing whenever I find a little time... and believe me, its quite a bit difficult to find time when you are a full time employee and an "officer" at that :P With all the "Responsibility" and associated ego, you obviously wouldn't want to be caught spending valuable office time on cyberspace! Life has changed in so many different ways that I have stopped keeping track of all the changes.
I have decided to flow with the current. Resistance is futile. Just flow along and let the stream decide whether to leave you on a deserted bank or a crowded embankment. I shall very soon come up with the typical "daily routine" post. But as of now, I have to start being less cynical.

This browser sucks...

The browser in the office sucks !!! I am not allowed to upload photos or even format my text, only for blogger though. I'll have to shift my blog to some other more usable host.
Blogger still remains my first love though... shall post my new blog site once I am done setting it up.
Update: I have downloaded and installed all the required updates to make the browser usable... therefore.. I AM NOT MOVING OUT OF BLOGGER! yuhoo!!

Return of the Kafir.

This was religion to me. And i had still given it up to prove some theory to myself. The theory failed and I am back on the old battered track. I can't live without writing.I can live if i don't crib. Hence, I shall crib,I shall write and I shall give myself some decent sleep at night.
This is the beginning of the much awaited and much maligned second innings, but even though I have returned to my faith, I still remain a Kafir.
A rustic of the soil who refused to accept the gloss of the dazzling new world. I renounce the new world and dive down the depths of past glory to retrieve whatever I can. I stand convicted of indecision and condemned to the only result of such renunciation, eternal darkness.
I promise you a new faith, a faith in which i will be accepted as a founder rather than be maligned as a Kafir.
I have arrived. Again.