Solitude

Sitting in the corner of a comfortable office floor, with a computer connected to the internet and window right beside me to allow all my "staring into space" activity and ill advised thoughtfulness at times, I enjoy my solitude. I wouldn't call it loneliness, but a solitude which is comfortable and unnerving at the same times.
Come to think of it, there is no one (other than myself) in the world who actually knows what I want, what makes me happy, what are my insecurities or fears and hence I am less vulnerable, but I am lonely too. As much as I savour my solitude, I wouldn't mind letting some people enter my life and understand me, give me some company, help me know myself better. But some deep seated fear of being hurt again by allowing people to come really close, of becoming utterly predictable kills the urge and sends me back to enjoying the solitude of a quiet anonymous life.
People will say I am contradicting myself again, but I guess we can live sanely only if we are well aquainted with both the sides of the coin.
Listen to this song sometime...

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...